Every footballer wakes up in the morning with the best intentions. They hope to score the winner, keep a clean sheet or put a smile on a sick child’s face. Unfortunately things don’t always work out that way. If you too are prone to a brain fade, rest assured, there is now a place where you will be among friends.

King Eric didn’t wake up one morning and think ‘today I’m going to fly-kick a Palace fan’. I’m certain Mario didn’t mean to burn his house down. Clearly Becks had no intentions of sleeping with the nanny, and obviously Joey Barton just needed somewhere to butt his cigar.

Completing 100 passes, slugging it out at right-back for 90 minutes, or transforming yourself into a human bus will not earn you a place in the starting XI. Each installment will feature the players who are making headlines for reasons other than brilliance on the pitch.

Some sort of connection to the football world is all it takes to earn a place in ‘Why Always Me FC”. No magnet is safe.

This month's edition will take a 4-4-2 formation

Advertising Standards Authority - GK

The UK’s advertising watchdog has banned a Nike advertising campaign involving the Twitter accounts of Wayne Rooney and Jack Wilshere. The ban comes on the grounds that the offending Tweets are not easily identifiable as an advertisement. What an overreaction. Players should be able to advertise, promote, and share whatever they like through Twitter. It’s their personal account and not the beliefs of their employers. Both players are known as Nike athletes, this is hardly a ‘Kangaroo Island’ arraignment.

Faisal Mandini (Bluestone United) - DEF

Conman who in a bid to win the association of sporting stars used stolen credit card details to book holidays for them. The man’s lawyer said his client had acted in pure vanity, "The hallmark is not, as it is for most conmen, for financial gain. He is a man who suffers from vanity." The man has been jailed for four and a half years

Spanish fans - DEF

The group of Spanish fans attending EURO 2012, who directed monkey chants towards Italian striker Mario Balotelli, earned themselves a spot in Why Always Me FC for disgracing themselves. Surely racism in sport is a thing of the past; this news is the only thing to sour a great tournament of football. Justice would have been Balotelli enjoying the last laugh in the final; unfortunately it was not to be.

Croatian fans - DEF

The Croatian fans were no better and allegedly threw a banana on the field when the chants weren’t enough.

Russian fans - DEF

Oh and Russia, the WAMFC selectors haven’t forget you either, your in too. The Russian F.A. was fined after its fans were also making monkey chants, this time they were directed at the Czech Republic’s Theodor Gebre Selassie.

Samir Nasri (France) - MID

Manchester City playmaker Samir Nasri told French journalists to “go f**k themselves” when asked for a comment after France’s EURO 2012 quarterfinal loss to Spain. Nasri also gave the silent treatment to journalists after scoring in France’s win over England and allegedly challenged a journalist to a fight. The media is reporting that Nasri could potentially receive a two-year ban from International football; he will learn quickly the media are an enemy he doesn’t need.

Gary Deegan (Coventry City) - MID

Irishman Gary Deegan has been suspended from training for two weeks after tweeting “Up the IRA” to teammate James McPake who had been called up for service in Northern Ireland.

Harry Kewell (Unknown) - MID

Watch this space…..

Joey Barton (QPR) - MID

“I was reckless and deserved every punishment I received. Money comes and goes, it's not important to me. Losing the captaincy and missing 12 games, is what really hurts. I was stupid and that what happens when u do dumb things. I am confident ill bounce back. Cannot wait.”

This is what Joey Barton had to say on Twitter after he was handed a 12-game suspension and fined six weeks wage for his sending off in the final round of the EPL season. Too measured, too sensible and too pragmatic for the WAMFC community. We demand honesty from you Joey Linus Barton. Be true to one self…and WAMFC.

Troy Deeney (Watford FC) - ST

Deeney has been jailed for 10 months after being caught on CCTV attacking a group of students outside a nightclub.

Nicklas Bendtner (Denmark) - ST

Denmark’s Nicklas Bendtner was fined €100,000 and suspended for a World Cup qualifying match for his goal celebration in the EURO 2012 match against Portugal. The Sunderland player lifted his playing shirt to reveal “Paddy Power” (the name of a Dublin based betting agency), emblazoned across the waistband of his green and white briefs.